Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
