i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
