So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
