Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
