Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
