operation harelip BJ is a go
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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