i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
