Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
