Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
