this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
