Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
