I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
