I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
