either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
