Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Randomize
