): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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