Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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