I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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