If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
