She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
