yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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