It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
