I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
