8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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