Why are handjobs necessary in class?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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