after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
