based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
