Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
