Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
