I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Quick, to the slutcave!
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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