I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just blew my weed a kiss
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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