You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
