why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
