no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
