After last night, I could never be a politician.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
