Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
