it wasn't lemon gatorade
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
How's work?
Spinning.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
