It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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