But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
