the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
