I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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