She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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