Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
