I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
