He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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