Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Randomize
