well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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