I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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