Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
