in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
