Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
