is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
