this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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